Behaviour, Thoughts and Feelings: Tom’s Story

Self reflection is a great way to understand your feelings!

Our thoughts, feelings and behaviours can all have an impact on each other.

• Think about what makes you anxious.
• How does it affect your feelings and thoughts?
• How does it affect your behaviour?

Things to reflect on

What improves your mood? It could be talking to a friend or listening to music.

How does that make you feel? Happy, calm, relaxed?

How can you change your behaviour to challenge anxiety? For example if you’re feeling anxious in crowds, you could try listening to music whilst walking into a crowded shopping centre.

It’s important when challenging your anxiety that you set small targets which you can achieve.

Read Tom’s story below to learn more.

Tom’s story

Tom has anxiety about going to the shopping centre, he hasn’t gone for over 6 months.

• He has thoughts that other people are looking at him and judging what he’s buying.
• This makes him feel anxious and uncomfortable.
• His behaviour is to avoid going, which makes his thoughts feel worse. 

This is how the cycle of thoughts, feelings and behaviours can all act on each other. 

But Tom finds that listening to his favourite songs calms him and helps him feel at ease. 

To help Tom overcome his anxiety, he focuses on listening to music whilst he has negative thoughts and feelings in the shops to help him focus on those calmer feelings

Tom could also set small targets. For example, he could plan a phased return to the shopping centre by:

Day 1: Getting bags together to go to the shopping centre

Day 2: Getting ready and going to the shopping centre on the bus and coming home

Day 3: Being able to get ready, catch the bus, and go into one shop

Day 4: Getting ready, catching the bus, going to the shopping centre and browsing the shops

Every step achieved is a step towards Tom’s goal. Some steps may take Tom longer than others.

Eventually Tom will set targets which are achievable, gaining in confidence and self-satisfaction without consciously thinking he is challenging his anxiety.

However, when setting targets, it’s crucial to focus on your mood, feelings and behaviour at every stage. For example, Tom could listen to music at each stage if he starts to have negative thoughts and feel anxious.

How to get help

If you have any more questions on this area or would like to speak to somebody about this topic, have a look at the links or search for your local services in the blue box below.

• w: Childline - Anxiety
  
• w: Young Minds - Anxiety
  
• w: Papyrus